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Another 8 reasons I hate the British summer

13 Jun Posted by in Europe, Fun reads | 12 comments
Another 8 reasons I hate the British summer
 

Around this time last year I wrote a pretty popular post – 7 reasons why I hate the British summer. Reasons such as men getting their moobs out and women walking around shops in their bikinis.

Well, the sun has been back out in the UK and it’s prompted a few more humurous reasons to dislike the British summer so here goes:
Socks and Sandals
Footwear
Two words: Socks and Sandals. Just who in the hell decided that this was EVER a good idea? You wear sandals because you want your feet to be cool when it’s hot so why on Earth would you wear socks to keep your feet warm? It also looks ridiculous, especially when the socks are pulled up to the ankle or, dare I say it, the knee – yuck!

Trashy beach shops
If you’re out a seaside town and it’s sunny, you can guarantee that the ‘beach shops’ will open. Buckets and spades, inflatables and colourful wind charms, all hanging outside designed to tempt the children and begin the pester power. Oh and let’s not forget the ‘sticks of candy rock’ and other trashy souvenirs found hanging around.

Sports games
If it’s not football season and Wimbledon tennis tournament, it’s someone kicking a football around when you’re trying to get some peace and quiet in the park. I don’t mind a bit of frisby playing on the sea green but when it’s a leather football and it hits you in the boobs? Well, let’s just say that the football isn’t the only ‘ball’ I’d confiscate!

Weather
It rains.  A lot.  We don’t really have a summer in the traditional months any more.  Now we tend to have a few good weeks in March/April and again in September/October.  As for June, July and August?  Well let’s just say that you’ll need your umbrella for the water not to give you shade.  People then fall into two camps; the people that BBQ no matter what the weather because they invited people over and they’re not going to let a a little bit of rain stop them sitting outside and then there’s the people that sit indoors with a nice alcoholic drink laughing at the die-hards sat outside. (below is what my home looked like just over a week ago!).

Wildlife
Now, I’ve got nothing against wildlife as a whole but let’s face it, Britain isn’t exactly known for it’s ‘gorgeous insects’. Even the USA has ‘Love Bugs’. No, instead we get flying ants, flies that don’t mind whether they bathe in your burger juice or face sweat and wasps that will attach to anything from your lettuce leaves to your alcohol. And let’s not forget the dreaded Seagulls that come out in force to dive for your food at the seaside.

Traffic
Now, I live in a seaside town; I’m no more than 10 minutes away from at least 4 beaches and I love it. However, with the sun and the heat comes tourists; and traffic, heaps of the stuff. And with traffic comes road rage that is only increased with the irritability that is usually associated with being stuck in a lunchbox with 2 parents and 4 kids for 5 hours on the motorway for their ‘weekend escape by the sea’. Speaking of traffic:

Caravans and cyclists
Just where in the hell have they been all winter? The first bit of sun pokes through the cloud and they become an infestation. Every major road is overrun with caravans and when you try and avoid them and hit the back and country roads? Well that’s when you meet the cyclists in their unflattering lycra and bum belts looking like they would have been sexy back in the 80s when spandex was fashionable.

Cafes
I love a good cafe in the sun, truly I do but let’s face it, we’re not European; the only time we ever have the ‘cafe culture’ is when the sun and heat comes out. And the people sitting outside aren’t the pristine ladies dressed smartly drinking Pimms or an iced tea. No, our ‘cafe culture’ is a small greasy spoon cafe that has broken plastic furniture outside the door situated right on a busy road or bus lane; yeah because we’re classy like that. And even if you’re lucky enough to have a ‘posh cafe’ overlooking the harbour, it’s filled with fat men sitting around drinking pints with their shirts off letting it ‘all hang out’. Um, no thanks.

What do YOU hate about the British summer or Brit holidaymakers in general?

  1. Jen06-13-12

    LOL!!! These are all so true! Socks and sandals are the most clichéd touristy thing ever so I’m always so shocked to see so many middle aged men wearing them! COME ON BOYS!!! xxxx

  2. Tara06-13-12

    Hahaha, I luv this! I especially agree with the weather one..we live in such a beautiful place usually but it just looks gross in the rain. I will not be best pleased if the weather on Friday is like that in your picture, I want to sit outside in the sunshine when we go to Applebys, not inside!

  3. Vegemitevix06-14-12

    All of the above. And I couldn’t really get my head around the British Jubilee celebrations either. Making the Queen and Duke stand in the rain and cold for nine hours as a celebration? What do they do for punishment? Send them somewhere hot and sunny Down Under? http://www.vegemitevix.com/2012/06/5-weird-things-about-the-british/

    As for the drought – it’s been the wettest drought I’ve ever known!

  4. Natasha06-14-12

    Hilarious! I’m still waiting for a day of complete sunshine in London, not ‘sunny periods’ and endless rain. ;-)

  5. Toni06-14-12

    Jen – haha yes, it’s always middle-aged men; what’s with that?! I think we need to set up some help classes :)

  6. Toni06-14-12

    Tara – our home definitely looks awful in the bad weather :( I don’t think Friday is going to be too clever but fingers crossed!

  7. Toni06-14-12

    Vegemitevix – Sadly the Duke and Queen were supposed to sit down the whole time but unfortunately the rain soaked the seats through! It’s not wonder the Duke is in hospital with a bladder problem if he had to hold it in for so long! Yes, so much fear and panic about the drought and we’ve now had one of the wettest ‘summers’ on record; go figure!

  8. Toni06-14-12

    Natasha – got a feeling you’re going to be waiting a long time for that ;)

  9. Erik06-30-12

    It rains a lot in Britain? I’m not buying it… :-)

  10. Toni07-01-12

    Erik – no, really, it does ;)

  11. Monica08-02-12

    Oh Toni, apart from the rain and the traffic, these are the reasons I love the British summer! I love the fact that as soon as the sun comes out everyone’s tops come off and the sandal sock combo is out in force! You wouldn’t want all those middle-aged guys to get blisters would you ;)

  12. Toni08-02-12

    Monica – I literally laughed out loud about the end of your comment…middle-aged guys getting blisters haha. Maybe if they did get them, it would force them to stay in their own backyards?! ;)

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