Dear Ms.Quito – you suck!! (pun intended)

So let’s get you up to date on what I’ve been up to.

Wednesday, I took a day trip to Phi Phi Island. You can stay on the island but listening to people and reading advice etc it’s half the standard of here and twice the price so I decided on just a day out and it was really nice.

Got picked up in the morning though felt a bit weird seeing as everyone else was either in couples or families and I started to get a bit self-conscious but I got over it. I got talking to a young Aussie couple next to me, laughing about a Chinese family across from us that all looked like they wanted to throw up. We headed for Monkey Beach which, surprisingly, is a beach famous for its wild monkey’s. We also got to snorkel for the first time in the day and I swam with the Aussies. When the woman asked for my name she said ‘you’re kidding right?!’…her name was Toni. Needless to say that her boyfriend Joe didn’t forget my name haha. Toni and I both had trouble with our snorkelling masks and no matter what we did (all day!!!), every 30 seconds we would have to come up and clear our face mask. Uber annoying! However, the islands were the stuff brochures were made from…gorgeous rocks with greenery on top and sky blue sea – lush! (again, you’re going to have to wait until I found accommodation that has a more reliable connection for the photos)

I can’t remember everywhere we went exactly…a blue lagoon here and white sandy beach there, you know how it is. 😀 But the most famous place you will probably recognise when I say it is Maya Beach which is famous for Leonardo di Caprio’s film ‘The Beach’. Wow! Gorgeous blue sea and thick jungle…looked like something out of Lost haha. Though Toni and I didn’t appreciate the 200m walk to the toilet on boiling hot sand only to find wet loo seats and no toilet paper. I think we did, what is called a ‘shake, rattle and roll’ and couldn’t stop laughing about it. We consoled ourselves that ‘salt purifies everything’ haha.

After lunch we headed to Khai Island which is of the most expensive islands to stay on because the snorkelling etc is so good. Joe swam off with our guide to look for reef sharks and bright coral but Toni and I stayed behind because of our damn masks. I couldn’t stop laughing at times because all you could hear was Toni and I trying to talk with our snorkels in our mouths and frantically pointing fish out to each other. I told her that I hoped Joe would finish his snorkel and tell us it sucked and that he didn’t see anything…karma worked because he didn’t see anything ‘fun’. Toni and I just smiled; mwahaha!

And after a fun-filled day we were on our way back but decided to go out for dinner together because I told them that I’d found cheap Italian food and we were all a little sick of Thai haha. We didn’t exchange contact details (kinda wish I had now I look back on it but hey ho) but it was just a very enjoyable day.

Until I got back to the hotel that is….
(since my ‘Dear Mr’ letters proved so popular, I think I’ll keep them as a running feature; what do you guys think?!)

Dear Ms.Quito,
I knew, during the day, that you and the family had had a couple of snacks ‘on me’ as it were and that’s fine but I didn’t give you permission to invite 50 of your closest friends and family to feed off me. You made me so upset I burst into tears when I realised I’d been your breakfast, lunch and dinner buffet. My feet and legs are covered in dirty dishes that need to be cleaned and I feel dirty, ashamed and embarrassed that I let you get away with it. So much so that I haven’t been to the beach in 2 days, just for walks with linen trousers on, because I didn’t want to get my legs out. I didn’t sleep ALL NIGHT because you caused me so much pain and made me to break into several bouts of tears where I craved a hug and TLC because I was so sore. They were so bad the owner of my hotel suggested I go to the local hospital for a shot! But I want you to know that I’ve bought a nice big tub of Tiger Balm today…so have some of that ya’ bitch! Yours forever Mrs Craven Ahug

Dear Toni and Joe,
Thanks for making me cry with laughter when you didn’t know what a ‘banana hammock’ was and called them ‘budgie smugglers’ instead.
Always, I.P.Laughing

For the most part I’ve been fine about being alone but in one day I had no less than 3 comments and sad faces when I told them I was traveling alone. ‘What, no friends?’ to which I had an answer to…
Dear Wedding Ring,
I bought you today because you were cheap but genuine silver. I hope you do ‘exactly what it says on the tin’ and give me a story to tell the people who think I’m a loser – screw them. I have a famous husband don’t you know!
Many thanks for your ongoing help, Mrs Pitt

I’m now in Karon Beach which is 10 minutes South of Patong Beach and its complete opposite. There are plenty of restaurants, few bars and no touts. Its beach is HUGE with white sand and a sea that acts as a constant wave machine, it has no jet skis or other noise makers and you can’t hear the traffic – I love it! Before I left Patong however…I found another little helper for my mossy bites – fish. And no, not the type you eat, the type that eat you! I’m sure you’ve seen it on TV etc…you stick your feet and legs in a fish tank (can’t remember the name of the fish) and then feed off you. It sounds disgusting but it felt like bubbles tickling and my feet and legs felt fantastic afterwards!


Leave a Reply


  1. Well that sounds like a memorable adventure! It really adds to the experience when you meet fun people on a solo trip. As far as the snorkle masks, exactly the same thing happened to me in St. Thomas and I was so frustrated that I took the mask off. Really no point in wearing it. Did you see any monkeys on the beach? When you visit my blog, please make sure you leave a link that allows me to access yours. I have to go back about 20 posts to find the link that works!

  2. Quick tip from my snorkelling days. While you’re on dry land, if you put the mask on without the strap and breathe in through your nose, you should be able to hold it in place just by creatimg that vacuum… that should help test the seal and make sure it fits. Also, watch out for stray hairs. Sorry if you know all this already, lol, I’ve spent too much time underwater! x