Dear Women, what the hell is wrong with you??

Let’s start this post with a little disclaimer shall we? I’m a woman. I have two boobs, two nipples and a vagina that even porn stars can’t make look pretty (seriously, vaginas aren’t pretty however you ‘maintain’ your hair).

Most of the time, I’m pretty happy to be a woman. I get an entire fashion industry dedicated to clothing me in whatever the hell I feel like wearing, gossip is allowed on a scale that shouldn’t be legal and I can get away with a lot of things simply by showing off a bit of cleavage.

The down side to being a woman is needing to wear Spanx (aka The Wetsuit) 419568_246779045405434_62188735_nwhen I want to look ‘amazing in that dress’, I have the same amount of hair as a man but unlike my counterpart, actually have to maintain it which is a serious pain in the ass (unless it’s Winter…ladies, you know what I’m talking about!?) (and when I say a pain in the ass, it really is if you’re getting a wax down there!) and once a month for about a week I feel like absolute shit because my body decides that since I’m not having a baby I deserve to have raging hormones and have the need to stick something cotton inside my fanny. Yeah, that week is ‘fun’ for everyone!

But I digress…

What I’m actually saying is this; on the whole, it’s pretty damn amazing to be a woman and since we take up about half the planet, most men would agree that it’s amazing to have us in their lives (stop rolling your eyes gentleman…you need us to have sex! And you know we’re always a better option than your hand!).

So, with so many of us out there you’d expect a pretty good level of ‘sisterhood’ right? That whole ‘let’s give each other makeovers, have a pillow fight and talk all night’. This sounds like an intro to a porn movie but you get my drift!

We, as woman, should be helping each other achieve our individual and collective greatness. We should be celebrating our successes, supporting our failures and cheering each other on so I was appalled when I read an article (which you can read here) where a female sport blogger wrote that she thought one of the cheerleaders of the game she was watching was ‘too chunky to be a cheerleader’. In the words of John McEnroe; ‘YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!‘ Are you kidding me?? Are you looking at the same woman that I am?

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Ladies, we need to have a little discussion about calling each other out like this. Since when is it ok to call anyone fat? Whether they’re someone you know, a celebrity or a stranger on the street? Sure, by all means, you can THINK a woman is fat, that they’re not dressed appropriately or even that they’re ugly but saying it to their face or writing about it online in such a blunt manner? Tasteless, crass and it does nothing but show how ugly YOU are!

Take Kim Kardashian for example. You’ve probably just rolled your eyes at the mere mention of her name but hear me out! What is wrong with her? I mean, really? So she became famous for a sex tape and now she’s just ‘famous for being famous’? So what? Is she personally affecting your life? No. Do I think that her fashion choices have been a little bizarre over the years? Sure! But who am I to say what she should and shouldn’t be wearing? If she looks in the mirror each day and likes what she sees and the way she feels, it’s none of our business, even if she is on TV. Just because she lives her life through a camera, it does NOT give you the right to attack her personally!

I mean, what the hell is up with THIS:

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What is wrong with you ladies? She’s PREGNANT! Not fat, pregnant! Women put on weight when they’re growing another person inside of them. Sure, unfortunately all of her weight seems to have gone to her butt which was already pretty big but that doesn’t give you the right to call her a whale. Have some respect! Just because you may not agree with her life choices, love choices or family choices, don’t reduce your opinion to the level of spite. I would kill to have her pre-pregnancy body and I certainly wouldn’t say no to her bank balance so what exactly is your reason for all the hate? One word: jealousy and jealousy leads to nothing but an ugly soul.

If a strange woman walked up to you in a bar and told you that your dress (which you think you look and feel incredible in) made you look hideously fat and old, you would probably go into the toilets and cry so why do you think it’s ok to write on blogs or newspaper articles just how much you hate other women just because you don’t like who they are and you can’t be seen behind your keyboard? I just don’t understand why we’re all so happy to be so hateful towards one another? We all wear unflattering things at times or fall in love with the ‘wrong guy’ but why can’t we get a little compassion and understanding for it instead of outright criticism?!

Why don’t you try complimenting each other instead? When you’re in the fitting rooms and you see another woman looking fabulous in something she’s trying on, tell her! Everyone loves a compliment and it’s certainly refreshing to hear in a society full of criticism from the media and other women!

If a woman has her husband cheat on her, don’t say it’s because she ‘never paid him enough attention’; bake some fucking cookies, grab a box of tissues and be a girlfriend! If a woman falls over and splits her dress, don’t sit back and laugh at her; laugh WITH her and offer her a safety pin or some duct tape! 😀

It’s easier to be nice than a bitch so why don’t you start acting like a lady! And the next time you want to tell a woman she’s fat; keep your mouth shut and look in the mirror!  As the old saying goes; if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

True beauty always starts from the inside out, not the other way around!

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14 comments

  1. Well said. Unfortunately the media dictates how people perceive we should look like and most people just copy what the media says. I can’t believe she called that cheerleader chunky! Maybe you are right. It is probably jealousy and trying to hide ones owns mistakes by pointing out other peoples’ “mistakes”.

  2. Hi there! First time to comment on your blog 🙂 I think that most of the critical ladies have deep-set insecurities and hang-ups that have grown with them all these years. Hence when they see a female who has attributes that they think they themselves lack, it makes them feel better to bring the other female down. I get you about the ‘kim kardashian hate fever’. when people say that she gets money for doing nothing, its mostly out of spite and bitterness–here they are working their butts off to get minimum/average wage when here’s another woman who is flashy about her lifestyle, getting more money for ‘not doing anything’. if you had a real-life offer or had a chance to be a millionaire for also ‘doing nothing’, you’d be a fool not to take it!
    Anyway we all should just be happy about ourselves and for others. happy girls are the prettiest!

  3. Well Said. We live in a society where there’s way too much hatred and negativity, and people really do love to say awful things about each other. I can recall numerous times where I was called fat or made fun of by family, classmates, strangers, etc., and sometimes, even myself. But as you said, beauty comes from within, and people who’ve I’ve encountered who only say negative things about others truly do have an ugly soul, and you can see it. They are ugly inside and out.
    Accepting and loving yourself is a something women all over struggle with. For example, Abercrombie recently stated that they won’t sell clothes over a size 10. What kind of message does that send to women?

  4. I couldn’t agree more. We, women, should always help and support each other no matter what. We should be like a team, for good and for bad. Unfortunately, there are so many mean girls out there Toni. Do you know how many times I was called “fat” by some random people visiting my blog or my nasty and jealous female “friends”? Many times and guess what… it wasn’t nice, but I don’t care. I love the way I look and the way I dress and I think people should pay more attention to their lives and keep being happy instead of pointing out other people’s imperfection to make themselves happier.

  5. Tammy – I think you’re spot on…by announcing someone else’s ‘mistake’, women hope to hide their own; instead they just look ugly from the inside out!

  6. Jeani – Welcome! And thank you for commenting 🙂 Happy girls are the prettiest – PREACH IT!!!!! 😀 You are SO right! Beauty really does shine from within! It’s so sad that to make themselves feel better that some women choose to bring others down 🙁 I would love to have Kim Kardashian’s bank account for sure – not to mention her killer body! I don’t always agree with everything she says or does but that doesn’t mean I should hate her…the world would be so boring if we were all the same right?!

  7. Priya – I always think it takes far more energy to be hateful and negative towards someone than it does to be kind and support each other. I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve experienced it yourself; I too have been on the receiving end and it’s never easy is it? I always have to question where people’s venom comes from :s As long as we are happy with ourselves the nothing or no one else should truly come into the equation; the problem comes when people exploit our weaknesses for their pleasure and say hateful things – it truly is ugly.
    I heard about Abercrombie and I’m loving the backlash against their company because of it – they deserve all the fallen share prices that come their way thanks to its CEO – disgraceful!

  8. Agness – We should definitely be like a team – we would be so much stronger for it! You get called fat on your blog? Tell me who they are and I will (in a womanly manner) punch their lights out for you! 😀 How disgraceful of them to say that 🙁 I love the way you look and dress on your blog because it shows confidence and a care-free nature that many of us crave. We’re awesome women and we must never forget it 🙂

  9. One thing I’m really liking is the movement towards more curvy models, like Kate Upton. I’m seeing way fewer rail-thin girls in standards of beauty like Sports Illustrated and more who have a little meat to them. Any woman is beautiful, and it’s the insecure ones who feel the need to say rude things about others, really. The more I travel, the more I see that one standard of beauty is packaged and sold around the world (whitening creams in Asia, for example), and that’s not the way it should be.

  10. Kristin – I absolutely ADORE Kate Upton! She’s one of the most naturally beautiful women I have ever seen and I think everyone should aspire to have her figure…after all, Marilyn Monroe was ‘bigger’ and she was seen as the sexiest woman in the world! The amount of times I almost bought whitening products by accident! And you know what? When you travel, you stop noticing you’re not wearing make up because a smile is all the makeup you ever need 🙂

  11. I like this very much! I don’t get it either, so I’ll just say what my dad always says about everything to make me feel better. “It’s jealousy, Bobbi Lee.” This is a good boost talk to get ladies back into order. It be nice if we could all just embrace beauty and accept other people. I’ll make my effort!

  12. Bobbi – You’re right! I sadly think that a lot of it really is jealousy and I get that we can all, at times, be jealous of each other but it doesn’t justify the nastiness does it…your dad had the right thought! All we can do is be who we are and hope that others follow 🙂

  13. Such a interesting topic. I have long since believed that us women are our own worst enemy. Instead of focusing on a positive vibe, encouraging each other and standing up for one another, women plot, scheme and try to destroy each other (usually, in my humble opinion, to mask their own insecurities). I think back to secondary school and realise that even then, it was somehow deeply ingrained into our personalities and behaviour. Even if we weren’t raised in a home like this, I think we quickly adapt it as a defence mechanism to deal with the other teenage girls behaving like that. But I suppose that’s part of growing up. What I do not accept or entertain is the notion that grown-up, supposedly mature women behave like this.

    I’m not going to lie, I have some scales and I know how to use them! I still remember what it was like to be at a certain weight and I’m determined to get back there. But that’s my thing. I’m not going to let anybody else take control of what my bathroom scales show. Weight has become a tool used to humiliate and control women. If a woman is thought to be too heavy, she doesn’t fit in/doesn’t deserve to be happy/is dislikeable etc and if she’s deemed “too skinny” then clearly she has an eating disorder/has issues at home/needs to love herself more/is a bad person.

    The women who write this anti-women statements have nothing but my pity. Like you said, it’s so much easier to be nice and as life has taught me, so much more rewarding. My only hope is women will stop reading these articles, stop letting those nasty untruths into their worlds and shaping their lives and realise that the way forward is self-love, kindness and a strength to see our own wonderful existence free of other people’s labels.

  14. Milla – I have nothing to say to your comment apart from ‘PREACH IT SISTER’!!!!! SO well said. Hopefully, slowly, we can start a quiet revolution that will get rid of this permanently! 🙂