Almost the entire world and their dead grandparents seems to be on Facebook these days but you know that we all have things that makes us think ‘I hate Facebook!’.
I hate Facebook because… You send me friend requests from people I don’t know.
We all get them. You see the notification and think ‘I haven’t met anyone new recently, who’s adding me?’. Then you check and you realise you have NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE. You don’t recognise the name or the insanely small distant photo of their face so you’re stuck; what do you do? Facebook is a social network but adding anyone you don’t know just feels weird. So do you add them in the hope that you do know them and will laugh at all this later? Or do you ignore them because it’s probably just a weirdo that can’t laid and thinks you’re hot?
I hate Facebook because… The people online are never the ones I want to speak to.
Time and time again you log onto Facebook to see who’s online and 9/10 there’s a crap load of people online but no one you’d want to speak to. It’s your family (yawn), some person from school (that you haven’t spoken to since the initial ‘how have you been’ chat) or the ‘ok people; you know, the ones that always seem to reply with one word answers. Yeah, totally awkward.
I hate Facebook because… You fill my timelines with crap about games.
I have no problem in you playing one of the gazillion games available but just stop shoving them in my face. I don’t want to give you a shovel to clobber that snake, I dont want to pat your dog and I don’t want to hide you from the Mafia; I’d be happier to just shoot you myself.
I hate Facebook because… You take all the fun out of dating
When you meet someone on a night out, they don’t ask you for your number anymore, they ask if you’re on Facebook. It used to be that, when dating, you didn’t find out each others snurnames for weeks or months but now it’s one of the first things they ask. I get that Facebook is a big part of peoples lives but what’s wrong with trying to switch off the online world every now and then? Not only that but the second you add eachother the mystery disappears; you can take a walking tour of eachothers life before you’ve finished your drink. I’ve seen your vomit, your ass and your cross-dressing for your ‘night out’. I now no longer want to date you.
I hate Facebook because… You tag me without asking
You go out at the weekend with friends or colleagues and whether you were drunk or just made a fool out of yourself sober, someone took a photo, uploaded it and tagged you for the world to see. Everyone can now see your double chin, the pose in which you don’t just look fat but really fat and you’re wondering how you even made that ridiculous face. Sure you can un-tah yourself but the damage is already done. The person you’re dating has already seen he photo and decided to block you.
I hate Facebook because… You won’t let me forget that relationship
Friends of friends comment on your ex’s status and before you know it you can see everything from their latest conquest to the moving on and being happy without you. Likewise, everything you say and do can reach YOUR ex and you can soon find yourself ‘needing’ to justify everything; even blocking doesn’t help.
I hate Facebook because… I have to announce a relationship
When you’re in a relationship you have to announce it to the world but that can cause so many problems. What if you announce it too soon? The other person gets the ‘accept relationship request’ and they freak out and walk away? And what about if the OTHER person requests the relationship connect? Do you think it’s sweet or stalkerish? And lets’ not forget when you have to announce that the relationship has failed – that’s a crapper for both sides with everyone suddenly asking questions at a time you just want to be left alone! It’s a ticking time bomb from start to (potentially) finish!
Come on, you know you do too despite being on it…why do YOU ‘hate’ Facebook?