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Preach it baby!

04 Aug Posted by in Blogging, Inspiration | 36 comments
Preach it baby!
 

And so, yesterday I received my first truly negative comments. And it wasn’t just ‘I don’t like your site’, it was an entire character assassination.

I like to be liked…everyone does. When I put myself out there with my honest posts I was afraid that people wouldn’t understand where I was coming from; they wouldn’t ‘get’ the fact that I was being honest to show people that certain things just don’t matter in life and also, who wouldn’t want to know about the boat that didn’t just rock because of the sea?! I mean, come on, that’s pure gold! =D

 

So imagine my surprise when I received a comment that pretty much said this… (I’m paraphrasing it, he doesn’t need the satisfaction of having it shown…it’s been trashed from my ‘trash’ already)…

“I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I can’t believe people like the way you write – you sound like a girl that can’t run off the extra pounds and gives it away way too easy and can’t even be bothered to volunteer in Africa! You’re right about guys you date – they’ll run a mile when they realise the kind of girl they’ve got”.

Yes people, the above was pretty much what the Neanderthal wrote. I won’t reveal who he is because some of us have decorum and don’t wish to be involved in petty internet wars when clearly he has enough ‘keyboard courage’ to go around for everyone. Needless to say he has been, unfollowed, blocked and trashed from my life =)

Dear Keyboard Courage,
I regret to inform you that your access to my life has been denied.

Whilst I appreciate your somewhat subtle (as a sledgehammer) comment I can’t say that I agree with the dribble that you’ve shamefully hit the keyboard to type.

You know why people like my honesty? Because of people like you. People too afraid to bare all (insert more ‘free and easy’ criticism here) and show people online the personality that they have OFFline.
Sure, I’m incredibly flirty, I talk about sex and I have weight issues but let me tell you something my dear, uneducated friend…I flirt because it makes me happy, I talk about sex because I’m British and I like to rub up against (insert innuendo joke here and then laugh because innuendo sounds rude) taboos and I tell people about my Ribena berry moments because I know that others will relate.

I’m not quite sure why you’ve called me ‘easy’ – my ‘number’ (we all know which number I’m talking about) doesn’t even hit double digits so your definition must be in the’ how many warm/wet socks and dry towels do I get through a week’. Fat? Really? I’m running to get fit and tone up; I still want the bits that should wobble to do just that…I’m a woman after all =) I’d take you seriously but somehow I imagine you to be sat behind a desk in your ‘dungeon’ right now with a bulk supply of Twinkys and HoHos suffering Type I diabetes.

And so to get to the bit that really got me laughing in your comment…volunteering in Africa. Sure, to a lot of people it might seem hypocritical that someone from the West will be spending thousands on a trip when they have very little but you know why I’m not volunteering? Because from the age of 18 I dedicated 6 entire years of my life to 5 different projects (with at least 2 at the same time) all whilst working a full time job. Call me selfish but I’m feeling like I need a little ‘me time’ in my life right now. Time to sort out my own feelings instead of someone elses. You have no idea how far my kindness stretches or the things that I have been through in my life to make me the person I am today.

I think you need to check in with your ego and have a little talk with him. I have a feeling that it’s a little bloated at the moment…stop eating (and speaking) crap and you should feel better. I’ll tell my ego (her pet name being Exceptionally Gorgeous Obviously) that she’s doing just fine as she is.

Thank you for your critism – don’t let the door hit you on the way out of my success =)
Much love,

Toni

  1. Beverley08-04-11

    As if he said that?!?! I mean I’m all for criticism if it’s going to be constructive but this comment wasn’t, it was just downright rude. You don’t need me to tell you this but you’re beautiful as you are and I love reading your posts ( they make me SMILE and what use is life if you can’t be happy?!? – something your commentor clearly isn’t otherwise he would be out there living his own dream rather than hating on someone else’s!)

  2. Oddette08-04-11

    Water off a duck’s back hun. It’s a free country and he can read what he likes, not like anyone is forcing him to read your blog.

    I hate holier than thou types, both online and in the real world.

    Go on your trip, have fun and show us lots of pictures. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures ;)

  3. Francesca08-04-11

    Rock on, Toni! You’re my hero :-)

  4. Lauren08-04-11

    Wow, what a douche!

    I remember my first *hater* – i got a load of them on Reddit saying I was a spoilt little bitch, and the only reason to read my blog was because they wanted to bang me. LOL. It bothered me at first, but then you just have to smile about it :)

    You rock! :)

  5. Jennifer Nixon (@jenniferbnixon)08-04-11

    LOL what a sad little wanker. I of course mean that in the literal sense as well as he probably looks like the comic book guy from the Simpsons and has nothing else to do with his life. What’s pathetic about that is WHY HAS HE BEEN READING YOUR BLOG FOR A WHILE IF HE HATES IT SO MUCH? what a depressing little non-life he must lead.

    personally I LOVE your blog just the way it is!

  6. Terri08-04-11

    Girl, Forget about that person. Congrats on getting your first hate mail. And, as your blog becomes more popular the more crap you will get. I have a blog and videos on my life in Saudi Arabia and I’ve lost count of the number of negative emails, and comments I’ve received. Like you, the first one floored me. I was like, how can my little story bother someone so much. But the thing is, these people who take the time to respond with such negativity are crazy, it’s like something has triggered in them. It’s them, not you.

    I mean really, for someone to write: “I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I can’t believe people like the way you write –” my first question would be, what type of dumb ass keeps reading a blog in which they don’t like the way a person writes? They need to get a life and you need to just ignore all who come with such negativity.

    Eff ‘Em!!
    :)

  7. Elle08-04-11

    What a retard. He’s probably one of those overweight guys sitting in his moms basement reading comics and playing Call of Duty while battling with his Napoleon Complex. You handled the situation very gracefully. I’m proud of you. You should be flattered that he is clearly jealous that he’s not able to a) tap that ass and b) afford to go to Africa

  8. Julia08-04-11

    I can’t believe someone actually wasted the time writing that comment. Some people use the Internet to hide behind because they are scared of living in the real world. If I met this person I would say *takes big breath*:

    “I’m assuming by the fact that you had the time to write such a long-winded and ridiculous comment that you yourself are not in a relationship other than with your hand; such a poisonous tongue as yours can obviously not be kissing someone as amazing as me. Do all of us a favour and go back to your game of World of Warcraft before your Pot Noodle goes cold”

    :)

  9. Mia08-04-11

    Hahah! I laughed out loud when I read his comment. To your reply, I loved it! You didn’t get on “his level” yet you told him who’s boss! :)

  10. Betina08-04-11

    I say ignore him, Toni. No matter how successful we are, there will be some people who will make us feel we’ve made the wrong choices. It’s our advantage that we can flirt without feeling guilt and who cares about our weight — you’re not fat. A woman ought to have curves and not walk with a 12 year old boy’s body. You only need to your own standards to know that you’re making the most out of your life. People mistaken us for being selfish when we choose to take time to take care of ourselves but really, we need to be full to share something, right? I believe you’re on the right track and who cares what other people say — at the end of the day, you will only need to please YOU. I wish you all the best!

  11. Kerri08-04-11

    Hahahaha brilliant!
    I love your work baby! And if anything, any hate mail will produce even better pieces, or more of these creations!
    I can’t stop laughing at your response! Well done :) xx

  12. Toni08-04-11

    Beverley – Well said…there’s criticism and then there’s just being mean. Oh well, screw him haha. And thank you for saying I’m beautiful =) Weblondies are pretty hot (even if you do look like a hobo haha). It’s nice to know I make you smile =)

  13. Toni08-04-11

    Oddette – exactly…he knows where the ‘X’ is on the browser to close it! =) Meh he’s probably a mummy’s boy haha.
    And something tells me that you want to see lots of photos?! haha I’ll try my best!

  14. Toni08-04-11

    Francesca – awww schucks hehe. Thanks hun =)

  15. Toni08-04-11

    Lauren -high five on the douche! An FYI I’d totally bang you; I can see why they read your stuff :D I got angry for about 5 minutes then laughed at his pathetic-ness like this….mwahahaha :)

  16. Toni08-04-11

    Jennifer – haha Comic Book guy is EXACTLY what I had in mind when I was writing it lol. Maybe he was reading my blog because he thought I was telepathic and would write a post just for him inviting him for ‘you know what’. haha Haters will always hate but I’m not changing :) Glad you love my little place :)

  17. Toni08-04-11

    Terri – my thoughts exactly! If you don’t like the blog, you know how to close the browser window you douchebag haha. Yes; I think that’s why it got to me; I couldn’t understand how my ‘life’ online could affect someone else so much but then, as you say, realise that it is very much his problem, not mine :) People like him enjoy going through life hating just for the sake of it; total time wasters :) LOVE the eff ‘em :D

  18. Toni08-04-11

    Elle – That’s exactly the type of guy I was thinking about it when I wrote back. He’s probably 40 and still living with his mum haha. Proud of me? Aww shucks swimmy – thank you :) Oh and he totally wants to tap me…his loss :)

  19. Toni08-04-11

    Julia – Oh yeah he definitely had a strong case of ‘keyboard courage’; I have no doubt that I wouldn’t say anything like that to me if we met face to face – coward. Love your letter to him; amen sister :D ‘relationship with your hand’ – perfect haha. As you say, who in the hell wastes their time writing this crap?! :)

  20. Toni08-04-11

    Mia – His comment really does make you laugh doesn’t it?! So pathetic. haha Glad you think I managed to tell him who’s boss without stooping to his level :)

  21. Toni08-04-11

    Betina – LOVE your comment! It’s so true…we should be able to flirt and not worry about our weight; it’s our lives and as long as we are healthy and not hurting anyone else, there is nothing to complain about. ‘Need to be full to share something’ – love that saying hun; so true :) And you’re right, as long as I’m happy with the way I am and write, nothing else matters :)

  22. Toni08-04-11

    Kerri – Every cloud has a silver lining right?! He wrote a hateful piece and I turned it into a joke…it’s the best way to take the higher ground :) I’m glad it gave you a laugh sweet :)

  23. Sheryll08-04-11

    GIRL. Girl girl girl girl girl. You better be glad you didn’t reveal this asshole’s name because I would have to get crazy on someone. I’m nice, but you don’t fuck with my friends ;)

    This person obviously has some built up self esteem issues to sit and hide behind a keyboard and write such callous comments. What a dick.

    But on the other hand, you lady, are fucking fabulous, and don’t you ever stop!

  24. Erik08-05-11

    As the first guy to comment on this post, I would like to back everything that my fellow gender-mate said in his comments… (Not)

    Some guys are scared by strong women who have direction. I’m not sure why but it some way amplifies their own insecurities. I am a really liberal guy, and I believe people should do what makes them happy. I read the article about ‘road romance’ and it was honest. Who gives a **** what other people do in their private lives, especially if it doesn’t affect you. Get serious.

    Anyway, keep doing what you are doing. People are reading and there has to be a reason for that, even if this troll doesn’t get it.

  25. Melvin08-05-11

    That comment really got you going! ;-)

    I think even to know who you are talking about. Just a lucky guess… but there is someone out there who got a good time writing negative comments & see how people react to them. That’s at least the impression I got.

    My tip… Just ignore comments like that. ;-)

  26. Toni08-05-11

    Sheryll – haha I LOVE that you want to get a piece of this guy :) ‘What a dick’ – couldn’t have said it better myself :) And you’ll be pleased to know that I have no intention of changing!

  27. Toni08-05-11

    Erik – Good to get an opinion from a guy; glad it was positive :) ‘Strong women who have direction’ – LOVE that you think of me like this hehe. Precisely, if you don’t like how honest I am then don’t read – I don’t affect their lives in any way. Troll? I like that nickname for it :D

  28. Toni08-05-11

    Melvin – I actually enjoyed writing back to him :) I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew him…hateful people often get a bad reuptation quickly. Don’t worry, I will be ignoring them in the future, I just wanted to reply to this one because it made me laugh so much :) Thank you for the ongoing support!

  29. flipnomad08-05-11

    keep on doing what you love toni… dont mind haters…

  30. Toni08-05-11

    Flip – Don’t worry my friend, I have no intention of stopping =)

  31. Dylan - The Travelling Editor08-06-11

    Touche my love, touche. You’ve truly lived up to your reputation as The Travelling Editor’s favourite banteress. You’ve cream-pied this tosser so heavily that I can even smell his embarrassment here in Canada. Truly extraordinary you are, as per usual ;)

  32. Tom08-07-11

    I’m finger snapping all over the place here – you go girl!

    I can’t believe someone would be so obnoxious as to write that in YOUR blog comments!!! Personally I love the way you write because you’re honest and it feels like you when I read the posts.

    I’m curious about who it was now! Come on, start it – everyone loves a good Internet War! haha! ;)

  33. Toni08-07-11

    Tom – finger snapping! haha Great stuff hun =) Total douchebag right?! Meh – who cares…he’s probably 40, still living with his mum and never been out of his town =D

  34. Toni08-07-11

    Dylan – Good to know that I’m worthy of the banteress title :) And of course I’m extraordinary; wouldn’t expect anything less of myself haha ;)

  35. Anthony08-08-11

    Allow me to use my favourite British insult: What a complete BELL-END this fella is!

    Negativity in your life like this a poison and you dealt with it very well.I kind of “broke up” with a friend last week so I know this all too well.

    I received my 1st hate mail not once, but twice last week too hehe. I was more offended by their poor grammar. :)

  36. Toni08-08-11

    Anthony – bell-end; love it! haha. Oh I hate it when you break up with friends…their loss :)

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