That’s one small step for Toni and one giant leap for mankind aka her sanity


Yes folks, I’m back…I told you I would be. And unless you’re colour blind or are an extremely unobservant person and you’d miss the elephant in the room (there isn’t one, I’ve checked), I’ve changed my theme; you like?! Thought it was appropriate since its 2 WEEKS (!!!!) before I go away and people are now ‘tuning in’ for my travel run up.

It’s been a little over a week since I took my ‘blogcation’ (ok so ‘blogcation’ isn’t a word but don’t judge…you know you wish you’d thought of it first!) and it’s helped a little. Namely because I made a pretty big decision about my travelling…

I’m not going to China.

I’ll get there ‘one day’ but I realised one night at 3am (ok technically that’s morning but stop picking on me) that it was the only thing bringing me down about the trip. I wasn’t worried or stressed about any other leg of my journey apart from getting around China and sorting out the visa etc. As I lay on my bed thinking about it all I came to the conclusion that I was forcing myself to go to China because I thought ‘you can’t go all that way and not go’ but you know what?! It’s my trip and I’ll do whatever the hell I like. If I don’t want to go to China, I don’t have to; it’s as simple as that. Thankfully I hadn’t made any plans or booked anything so I won’t lose any money. So I’ll be soaking up the extra days by spending a little longer in Japan and Hong Kong (I don’t need a visa for Hong Kong since we used to own them – how imperialistically snobbish does that sound?!). It’s a big weight off my shoulders and dare I say I’m beginning to look forward to my trip now if only because it means I can get away from this place, the people and the memories.

For those with keen eye sight (aka you’re nosy) you will also notice that I’ve added another page…my life ‘to do list’. Pretty self-explanatory really…my ‘bucket-before I get eaten by a Great White Shark which is a pretty cool but painful way to die-list’ that I’ll be adding and subtracting to forever more. So stop by and have a look…you know you want to see what experiences I’ll be aiming for.

And also, after a couple of conversations of late it appears that, despite me thinking otherwise, all my family have been reading this. When I didn’t know they were on here it afforded me freedom and honesty and whilst I won’t apologise for things I’ve said, I won’t be foolish enough to do it again. I’ll try and remain as honest as possible but the truth will be diluted with a bottle of vodka or two (or maybe a cocktail perhaps?!)

And before I sign off for the day I’ll leave you with my latest search terms :

Are those smarties in your bra? No I’m just pleased to see you 🙂

Creamy white sexy – firstly, it’s either cream OR white you dumbass and secondly, white and sexy don’t go together unless it’s summer and you’re talking about wearing linen or you want to advertise yourself as a cheap hooker.

Too sexy outfit for work – if you’re the employee then you’ve just answered your own question (tone it down) but if you’re the employer…sit back and enjoy the view unless she looks more like the Hunchback of Notre Dame than Megan Fox.

Sexual phrase turkey baste – um. How to answer this one…’sexual phrase’ and ‘turkey baste’ should NEVER be used in the same sentence you weirdo. What in the hell is sexy about a turkey baster? Even if it’s filled with chocolate we wouldn’t have sex because I’d be too busy laughing at you whilst I frantically got dressed and then created a Facebook page telling everyone to stay the hell away from you!

Plans for fire baby – that’s either a social event or you’re an arsonist; care to tell me which?

granny shitting – you’re getting boring now.


p.s. how did I do? Sound like my old self again? I think so. They say that appearances are deceptive but appearances are everything.

Leave a Reply


  1. Love your new theme – so bright and airy! Your to-do list is fabulous, too. Great to have you back 🙂

  2. PS I think you might need a little more of my CSS magic for your comments – I’m getting black-on-black! x

  3. Nice to see you! I am kind of glad that you are not going to China. I always felt like you did not want to go!

    I hate to be a pain, but is there any way that you could increase your print size?

    I love the new setup, though!

  4. OTIN – I’m glad I’m not going to China too; such a weight off my mind! And of course I can change the font size for my Otie lol. Glad you like my theme though 🙂

  5. Phew! I am so glad to hear you took the “China” pressure off yourself Toni. Now you can relax and enjoy the rest of your wonderful trip. High fives!