Welcome to Botswana!

So let’s get back to some Africa talk shall we?

What have I been up to I hear to cry out?

Everything and nothing. We’ve done A LOT of driving since we left Etosha National Park on Monday but we’ve had some good times too. On Tuesday we arrived in the city on Windhoek, Namibia and stayed in a hostel (oh the luxury of a Western toilet!) and went to dinner at a world famous bar called Joes Beerhouse which serves all kind of game meat. I had the crocodile tail which was divine! Melt in your mouth stuff. I also tried Oryx and Zebra (yes Zebra’s are cute but there are huge numbers of them so one or two dying won’t hurt lol). I could go back there every night! The food was amazing and the group loved it. There had been a lot of unspoken tension on the bus and we needed to relax. Everyone that knows me will know that whilst I can handle my drink, I don’t go out just wanting to get drunk but this night I did. I sat down at the table and announced that I wasn’t going to get drunk, I was going to get REALLY drunk. I stopped counting at my 5th double vodka and coke and 3rd Jaigermeister. Needless to say that the amount I drank was offensive lol. The group had a fantastic night though and we carried on the party into the early hours…a GREAT send off for the four that left us.

After that, we literally spent 2 days driving and hitting campsites…total yawn. I’d like to say that you spend all that time staring at the scenery but the truth of the matter is you’re too busy reading or trying to catch up on some sleep. So sue me. You try getting up before dawn every day and packing up your crap lol.

Yesterday was spent bush camping in the Okovango Delta which is the largest in the world. You travel to one of the sand islands by Mokoro (dug out canoe) and it was so quiet you could hear nothing but the sound of the ripples and the reeds. I took a lovely video and sunset was absolutely stunning on the water…got some great pictures! We even had the luxury of crapping into a properly built hole with accompanying spade to cover it up…yes, Africa is still beating me on the dignity front. I’ve given up counting!

Tomorrow we have a 620km drive to Kisani and the Chobe River…that’s going to be ‘such fun’!

And now for a couple of famous letters:
Dear Chinese Women,
You have been with us for almost 3 weeks now…you should know how to find your own bush to pee on without having to stalk me. And why are you dressed like a cross between a beekeeper and Michael Jackson…if you’re so afraid of the sun, you shouldn’t be here!

Dear Spiders,
HOW did I not know you could jump? Why do you feel you need to add another terrifying characteristic to your CV? Who cares…you come into my tent and you DIE! Spread the word…or your guts!

Dear body,
I’m so sorry I’m putting you through this. Your skin is dry, your cuticles have broken and you have dirt in places you never knew possible but fear not. In just over 3 weeks your hair will be silky again, skin moisturised, manicures/pedicures done and you’ll be back in lace underwear. You know Africa is worth it =)

Dear Me,
You’re still peeing in a bush. Africa is winning in the dignity race – big time! Signed, I.P.Laughing

Leave a Reply

10 comments

  1. Zebra AND crocodile tail!?

    I think your next open letter should be to your tongue and/ or tastebuds. I’m sure they would appreciate some recognition!

    But seriously, it sounds like you are having an AMAZING time! Even if the Chinese woman keeps stalking you….

  2. Hehe, I love the letters. Particularly the one to your stalker friend :-p

    Glad to read you’re enjoying yourself, but where are the photos??

  3. Erik

    It was indeed a great send-off; good memories and no hangover!!
    Miss you guys: wish I could have gone to the Delta with you and made my famous Delta-stew and told my famous “Africa” stories.
    I can’t wait to read your stories about (active) Zambia, (boring) Malawi and (amazing, awesome) Tanzania!
    Stay strong

  4. LOL!!! Your letters are hilarious!

  5. Glad you’ve maintained your sense of humor. An important part of traveling. 🙂

  6. Chris – I’m so happy – my stalker has finally left the truck lol. No more pee photos haha. Sadly, the internet just isn’t strong enough to add photos to the blog. I can only just upload them to Facebook and even then it’s hit and miss :/ Don’t worry – you can OD on them when I get home haha

  7. Sheryll – glad you like 🙂

  8. Erik – my humour is reducing the further into the trip I go but it’s still there don’t panic 😀

  9. Erik – Miss you lots…it was lovely to meet you and have you as a guide…such a shame we never got to hear your stories. If the last three weeks are anything to go by, the next three weeks are going to be incredible! 🙂

  10. ‘dressed like a cross between a beekeeper and Michael Jackson’ Hahahaha!! The first time I saw one of those people, I thought she was allergic to the sun! Apparently it’s more common that that 😀