What happens when you get bloggers block

We all know what writers block is. That’s when some stiff British old man with a pipe and first generation computer has forgotten his train of thought and can’t finish his book about the new fox hunting without the fox.  But bloggers block, although new, can be similarly fatal.

I’ve been suffering bloggers block for a few weeks now. Posts have almost stopped and when I do hit publish I think ‘meh, I didn’t like it but at least I published something‘ and in my head the teacher is writing in red ink ‘Toni must do better’ but my head just isn’t in the game and I keep getting distracted.

I start feeling bad that it was such a shitty post *ooooh my friend just posted a picture on Facebook* and wonder what I’m going to write about next time to possibly redeem myself. I start freaking out that no one is going to keep reading my blog whilst I’m still not travelling *email notification ——- oh man, it’s only spam, I got so excited then thinking I was popular* and my life in general is so utterly kill-me-now depressing right now.

But then I get bored so I check Facebook in case something major happened since I checked my friend’s photo. No? Clearly I need to get more friends so I always have something new to like and comment on. Oh well, back to writing the post…

*One minute later…* I better check Facebook again because you never know! Oh cool, so-and-so is online, awesome, I can chat to them for a bit whilst I write my post (whilst writing this post about bloggers block and distraction, I totally got distracted for 10 minutes whilst some travel blogging idiot had a huge rant-fuelled meltdown on Twitter but I’m back…now where was I?!); right, distraction!

So I’m writing, writing, writing (one sentence) but wait, I haven’t checked BuzzFeed today for photos of cute animals and things I didn’t know about movies I love. I’ll just check the headlines then get back to writing….

30 minutes later


Ok, I really am going to start writing this post properly now….


I should just check my Google Reader and read some blogs, I’m so ‘out of the loop’ right now.

And oh look, 4 hours later and I’m still writing this freaking post. Maybe it’s time to give up for the night and sleep on it.


relaxing
relaxing
relaxing

drifting off to sleep…

BRAIN: Wake up! Wake the fuck up! I have an idea for a blog post. Screw that, a whole series of blog posts!

ME: Ugh, what? Goddammit I’m trying to sleep here

BRAIN: Sleep? You want to sleep NOW? When I’m on fire with ideas? Quit bitching, turn on your phone and the light and write this shit down before we both forget it.

ME: I won’t forget it. It’s such a huge and obvious idea I’ll write it down in the morning

BRAIN: But…but…but…you won’t remember it.

ME: I will, now shut the hell up! You haven’t had a decent focus-made idea all freaking day, I’m not about to listen to you now.

BRAIN: 🙁

zzz
zzz
zzz

BRAIN: Time to wake up!!! We need to work on the blog ideas! STOP HITTING SNOOZE AND WAKE UP!

ME: Ok, I’m up.

BRAIN: So let’s start from where we finished last night…

ME: And that would be….?

BRAIN: I TOLD YOU TO WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN!!!!!!

ME: Fuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkk!!!

I open my Macbook and figure that if I start writing other crap down here, the idea is bound to pop back into my head again.

10 minutes later I’m still staring at a blank screen.

Ok, this is getting me nowhere, time to distract myself…let’s go and read the headlines…

How in hell did Big Bird get involved in the Presidential Election Campaign? Oh jeez, and they wonder why the Earth is heating up? Talking hot air and breathing in toxic bird shit that’s what it is.

Alright, time to start to writing….*better go and check my emails quickly* Well since I’m in my emails, I may as well start replying to them all since I’ve got time.

BRAIN: You’re supposed to be writing the posts you forgot about last night or did you forget you dumb blonde? *oooh chocolate, nom nom nom.*

Maybe if I watch some TV and not think about the blog posts, the ideas will come back to me. Well that was boring…

I suppose I better open my Macbook again and see if I can remember this effing post…

BRAIN: I had the idea last night but oh no! You wouldn’t listen to me then so I’m not listening to you now. If you’ve forgotten it that’s your own fault!

ME: Fine. I’m ignoring you for the rest of the night and won’t blog. I’ll be on Facebook or Twitter if you remember how to be nice again.

Relaxing…

Relaxing…

Relaxing…

Ok, can’t keep my eyes open anymore thinking about this bloody post that I can’t remember…time to head to bed.

Drifting…

Drifting…

Drifting…

BRAIN: I remembered!!!! I remembered!!! Now wake the fuck up before I cause you the most painful leg cramp imaginable!

ME: Ok, ok, I’m up…making notes on my phone…we’ll start it in the morning.  This better be bloody worth it – everyone expects an incredible post if you’ve been out of the game for a while!!!

BRAIN: You better start it in the morning or you and I will be having some serious words with each other like ‘why do you keep hitting yourself’!  Or have you forgotten that I control your nerves?!


zzz
zzz
zzz

BRAIN: Wakey wakey! Check your phone!

ME: Ok! Keep your electrons on, I’m checking it, I’m checking it…

BRAIN and ME: What the fuck does that even mean?

BRAIN: Jesus Christ woman, were you high when you wrote that or did you marry a European because I’m not seeing any vowels in that sentence!

ME: Ugh. Looks like it’s going to be GroundHog Day.


HOURS LATER…

I remembered! I remembered! Writing…writing…Facebook…writing…Facebook…Twitter…writing…finished! Wow – who knew I had the speed- typing hands of Superman?!

BRAIN: Congrats bitch – took you long enough. You know what you’ve gotta do next right?

ME: Uhhhhh…….?

BRAIN: Network it!!! Start tweeting and Facebooking it and don’t forget to comment on other peoples blogs.

ME: Given how long it’s just taken me to remember and write the post, how likely do you think it is that I have either the time, effort or inclincation to do any of what you just said?

BRAIN: I hate you.

ME: The feeling is mutual you squidgy piece of crap.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is bloggers block!

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12 comments

  1. Hahaha..love it! I for one, have not managed to produce a blog post since somewhere around the beginning of August, although, that’s certainly not inhibiting me from reading (and commenting) on the work of other *more productive* bloggers..lol! Well done 🙂

  2. Jen

    We all get bloggers block at some point, so don’t worry! My brain is the worst for strange late-night ideas! xx

  3. Toni, I’ve had it for the last 6 months or so!

    A few years ago I realized that I HAD to have a pad of paper and pen beside my bed to jot down ideas. That idea that’s so amazing that you could NEVER forget it in the morning is usually, as you illustrated, forgotten! Oh how does it happen?!

    Gav has been chuckling at me the last few days because I write down EVERYTHING now.

    I haven’t been traveling either and fewer people read what I write. But, I still enjoy catching up with the blogging friends I made and commenting when I haven’t for a while so they know I’m still here 🙂

  4. This pretty much sums up every day for me! I’ve started jotting down ideas when they come to me at night, but I always find I wake up in the morning only to reconsider how ‘amazing’ they actually are!

  5. hahaha this post is epic! good skills missy!

  6. Ash

    1. Glad im not alone in this bottomless pit of ‘bloggers block’
    2. Im now reading this/writing a reply instead of working on my next post – OH THE IRONY!!!!

  7. Tiffany – hahaha spoken like a true blocked blogger 😀 It’s so frustrating isn’t it?! I hope you find your spark again soon but in the meantime, thanks for stopping by 🙂

  8. Jen – good to know I’m not the only one that has the best ideas in the dark 😀

  9. Haha, thanks for the amusing post Toni! I’ve only just found your blog, and loving it, so thankyou!! I had a big blogging funk recently too, it took a virtal ticket to the problogger conference to get me moving again!!

  10. This is so funny and so true. It was just like looking at myself from another angle. Such a nice read!

  11. Kimberley – glad I could help! I know what you mean about the conference; I just went to the World Travel Market and my brain hurt form all the ideas it created 😀

  12. Octavia – Glad I could give you a smile and that you enjoyed the post 🙂